Costume Ideas For Casino Party

The last drama post I did about Kuma Miko seemed to have gotten some praise, but some wished to see a Hobby Drama post that had consequences outside “people got angry over it”. So without any further delay, here’s a story about a studio that’s close to my heart, one that I’ve backed twice and seen die twice.
Note: This is a fairly lengthy drama, so forgive me if I’m not able to provide all of my sources. Most of the front half of this comes from this video, which chronicles the first half of Lab Zero entirely in Russian.
From Ahad to Mike Z
Let’s start in the beginning. Alex Ahad is a freelance illustrator who, in between other work, had created character designs for a prospective fighting game. Mike Zaimont is a professional fighting game player best known for games like BlazBlue and Marvel Vs. Capcom, but since 1999 had been coding a custom engine in his free time, which he hoped could be used for a fighting game. The two met in 2008, and the two quickly realized that with each other’s help, their dream could come true. In 2010, the two joined the newly developed game studio Reverge Labs. Joining their team was Mariel “Kinuko” Cartwright, a friend of Ahad’s and daughter of a Disney animator who helped animate games such as Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and Shantae; Peter Bartholow, who acted as CEO of Reverge as well as their PR arm; and an assortment of other animators and designers. Their goal: a fighting game in the style of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 with hand-drawn animation that they called Skullgirls.
After obtaining publishers in Autumn Games and Konami (at the time of development the Microsoft required indie devs to have a retail publisher in order to bring their games to Xbox Live Arcade), the team got to work on Skullgirls. Initial impressions were favorful - people liked Ahad’s unique character designs, the fluid animation, and the solid engine Mike Z built - but upon release, there were some concerns. The time and money needed to develop each character meant a starting roster of only eight characters, a far cry from other fighting games (the original MvC had 15 characters in 1998), and due to the team trying to get the game out, there was no in-game move list. Some were also concerned that the cast, consisting entirely of women, was too fanservice-filled, although Bartholow said that the characters were just attractive women who could fight as opposed to characters using their sexuality in battle (Ahad said that sex wasn’t his main focus, he just wanted to have monster girls fight each other). The team at Reverge Labs stressed that they would continue to update the game, with plans to add DLC if the game sold well enough. Good thing nothing could go wro-
Everything goes wrong
Alongside publishing Skullgirls, Autumn Games and Konami had previously published a karaoke game called Def Jam RapStar. Unfortunately, around March 2012, the time Skullgirls released, both parties were at the end of several lawsuits made against them - one argued that Autumn and Konami did not get the rights to some of the songs used in the game, while another claimed that the game was funded with a bank loan which Autumn Games was unable to pay back. The result of these costly lawsuits was that Autumn was unable to pay Reverge the money made from Skullgirls - this led to the entire Reverge team being laid off around July, and the future of the game in the air.
And so, the team decided on a whim to reconvene as a new development studio, Lab Zero Games. At a fundraiser for breast cancer research which included a fighting game tournament, Mike Z revealed the first DLC fighter and promised that new information about her and the team would be posted soon. This would turn out to be an Indiegogo fundraising campaign that asked for $150,000 to develop the first DLC fighter, with more characters promised if people backed enough.
In the end, $829,829 was raised in the campaign, enough to fund five DLC characters, a bevy of stages and voice packs, and other features. It was quickly becoming a cult classic.
The Skullgirls Curse
And so work on Skullgirls DLC was underway. However, a variety of events happened to befall Lab Zero during development, some causing controversy and others just annoying the team. Some dubbed this “The Skullgirls Curse”. So let’s go over some of them:

Paypal Woes: During the Indiegogo DLC campaign, Lab Zero announced that Ahad had created around 30 prospective designs for DLC characters, and that there would be a vote to see which characters would be the two “mystery characters” teased in the Indiegogo campaign. As you would guess, this caused the Skullgirls fanbase to get heated, to the point where some stressed that they would ask Indiegogo for their money back if their character didn’t win. PayPal, who managed the funds for this campaign, was concerned about these threats and put nearly all of the money on hold. Bartholow tried to negotiate with PayPal, and was eventually able to get the funding - once PayPal was given a hefty sum as collateral.
Bad Juju - If you notice on the list of prospective DLC characters, one character is Juju, a character who was designed by Ahad from a fan’s suggestion on a Whiteboard Wednesday art stream. Ahad seemed to like the idea of the character, and kept building her up until she became a legit character in the game. The original fan made a joke on Facebook that he’d like to be compensated for the design, which led Lab Zero to negotiate obtaining the character rights from him. They eventually worked out a contract that would give them the rights to the character, but only if the original fan didn’t reveal it until Lab Zero announced it themselves. The fan then posted about it on the Skullgirls forum the very next day, breaking the NDA immediately and making it so that Lab Zero couldn’t use the character at all.
Don’t be (Red) Cross with me: One of the characters included in the base game of Skullgirls is Valentine. As you can tell, the two biggest features of her character are her being a nurse and a ninja - as such, her costume is decorated with red crosses. This was upsetting to the real Red Cross, which fights hard to prevent its trademark from being associated with violence - as such, when they came to the Skullgirls publisher demanding a change, all red crosses in the game had to be changed to magenta.
#FucKonami: In November 2013, due to Konami barely helping at all with the publishing process for Skullgirls (they refused to greenlight any patch or DLC until Lab Zero tested it itself on their own time and money, they didn’t help with Microsoft’s certification process for Xbox, etc), Lab Zero dissolved their publishing agreement. This led to a massive snafu where, due to the dissolution, the original Skullgirls was taken down on consoles, and Lab Zero had to scramble to get a new publisher on the consoles side and then reupload the game as Skullgirls: Encore. It was a tangled web of issues which the above YouTube video relays, but required certification from both console storefronts and even the Japan storefront, as their publisher there was also coincidentally being dissolved at the same time without Lab Zero knowing.
EVO 2014: During one of the largest fighting game tournaments of 2014, Skullgirls was promised a space for airing their tournament stream by controller distributor Madcatz. Lab Zero and Autumn provided a pot for the tourney, and everything was smooth sailing - until a multitude of delays made it so that the entire time Skullgirls had for streaming was replaced with Tekken tournaments. By the time these issues were fixed, only the final four matches were able to be shown.
What’s the worst kind of ship? Censor-SHIP!: In April 2015, one of the patches of Skullgirls altered the animation of some characters, which according to Lab Zero themselves was because of their own artistic values (while they admitted that panty shots in a fighting game comprised entirely of girls is unavoidable, they didn’t want to go out of their way to show them). As you might expect, this led to a massive onslaught of negative Steam reviews and caustic tweets from people who abhor censorship of any kind. Funnily enough, this brigade started around October, six months after the changes were made, and only via word of mouth - people didn’t even notice there was a change until someone told them about it.
Backer characters: As part of their Indiegogo campaign, some of the highest-paying backers could have their original characters put in the background of some custom stages. Lab Zero warned these backers that these stages would be a casino and a ballroom, respectively, so their OCs should ideally be designed with a formal flair. Some backers did follow this unspoken rule - ZONE, a notoriously NSFW Flash animator who helped work on the DLC characters, made a perfectly formal look for his mascot Zone-tan. As for the others, well...
SonicFox: This isn’t included in the compilation video mentioned above as this occurred way after all the initial Skullgirls drama. Basically, SonicFox is a five-time EVO champion and one of the best Skullgirls players in the world. In May 2020, after Skullgirls was mostly complete, they were given a cameo in Skullgirls’ training stage. Of note is that SonicFox is black, non-binary, and a furry, and the character added to the game was their fursona, who has a trans rights flag in the inside of their jacket you can only see for like one frame. People reacted as you would expect. Also, one of the original backers requested to change their character as they were now transitioning, which didn’t get as much flak, so that’s nice I guess.

So as you can see, Skullgirls had a menagerie of problems and issues during its dev time. However, their Skullgirls curse seemed to have faded away, as they had a new game in store.
If I was Indivisible
Indivisible was a new project of Lab Zero, announced in 2015 as Skullgirls DLC production was nearing an end. Billed as a platformer RPG similar to games like Valkyrie Profile, it would tell the story of Ajna, a young girl whose town is stricken by tragedy and she finds out that she’s a portion of the god of creation, who has grown discontent with the world and wishes to remake it anew. Its Indiegogo campaign focused on Incarnations, party members who came from a variety of cultures, religions, and demographics not usually represented in popular culture. And as you can see by the fact that it got over two million dollars in funding, people were excited to see what Lab Zero could do. They even got enough funding to get Studio Trigger, of anime fame, to create the opening for the game.
Of course, it wouldn’t be Lab Zero without the occasional issue here and there. As shown above, some Incarnations were changed or scrapped during development, which irked some who backed because of that character specifically (not naming any names, but look in the incarnation list and see if you notice any). Backer characters were included again, and although there were more places to add them so they didn’t look out of place, you still had the occasional few that did. Critics liked the art and presentation of the game, but disliked some gameplay issues: the second half of the game became a cakewalk once you progressed far enough, it was a bit of a pain to go from one end of the map to another, especially for side quests, and a bunch of party members simply weren’t complete. Most egregiously of all, the Nintendo Switch version of the game was ported by a different company and released before Lab Zero was even aware of it - which forced them to scramble again to patch it up so it was on par with other consoles.
Still, it was a better situation they were in than when Skullgirls started. They had a legit publisher in 505 Games, people were satisfied with the base game, and Mike Z mentioned how the base game would continue to be refined with gameplay changes, small additions, and guest incarnations from other indie games. NBC even announced that Indivisible would be adapted into a television program for their Peacock streaming service. Things were looking up for Lab Zero.
Everything goes wrong... AGAIN
During the production of Indivisible, Alex Ahad was let go by Lab Zero. Not much is mentioned about it except that he was growing increasingly hostile, making it difficult to work with him, and his art was not meeting the standards for the game. He left, tried to sue Lab Zero, and eventually agreed to a sizable settlement. Mariel became the lead artistic director in his stead, and the art team had to be rearranged to compensate.
Now, as Lab Zero was preparing to transition from being employee-owned, Mike Z was made the temporary head of the studio. In June of 2020, Mike Z did an “I can’t breathe” joke during a Skullgirls livestream just days after George Floyd’s death - he later apologized for this, claiming he was trying to bring attention to the issue. Soon, more people provided proof that Mike Z has had a history of sexual harassment. Kinuko chimes in as well, noting that while she tolerated inappropriate behavior for years, when she talked to Mike Z about it, he blamed her for his actions. She talked with others in the team, who came to the conclusion that Zaimont had treated all of them like this. Some Lab Zero employees resigned on their own, while others pushed for Zaimont to resign. However, as Mike was still head of the studio, he dissolved the studio board and laid off the rest of the staff.
So where does that leave everyone?

Ahad is still doing art on his own, and gets by with commissions and his Patreon.
Kinuko, as well as the majority of Lab Zero, created a new studio called Future Club, which has promised to create new titles with the same art style they refined from Skullgirls and Indivisible.
Autumn Games still own the rights to Skullgirls, and with the help of some former Lab Zero devs, created a mobile version of the game. It’s surprisingly not bad, although it’s of course stuffed with microtransactions. However, they’ve apparently made enough to fund a completely new character for the game for both the mobile and console/PC versions.
After everything with Mike Z, 505 games put out a statement which signaled the end of all development of the game, leaving it unfinished. Mike Z has been suspended from Skullgirls streams and the like, making his future in the gaming world unclear.

There’s probably something I’ve missed in all of this, but yep. I backed them twice, both for Skullgirls and Indivisible. I don’t regret it, and I’m looking forward to whatever Future Club does, but I won’t lie - I’ll always miss what could have been.

Background
A fond memory of playing games with friends as a kid was Luigi’s Casino. We’d play those stupid chance games all the time and it was so fun. Looking back, I wanted to design a tour around Luigi in his casino costume, so I thought where else a casino was present in Mario games. Of course, I immediately came to Hotel Delfino and the Sunshine version of King Boo. This tour idea is a mishmash these two characters put together.
(This tour idea series was inspired by u/WaffleyDootDoot. Please check him out, some of his ideas are great!)
New Track
Wii Moonview Highway: When choosing the new track, I had two themes in mind; night skies and bustling cities. This track is exactly both of those things and more! Not only do you get to swerve along the city roads, but you also get to take in the amazing views off the side of the highway. This course would also be the second from Mario Kart Wii, taking its place alongside Maple Treeway.
New Drivers
Luigi (Casino) (Medium, High-End): Luigi turns up in his casino outfit from the Super Mario 64 DS party games! He handles the riches of the casino, as well as acting as a gamemaster. His special item is the Coin Box.
King Boo (Sunshine) (Large, High-End): King Boo arrives in his Mario Sunshine style! After hiding under the casino of Hotel Delfino for far too long, he’s more than ready to haunt the race. His special item is the Giant Banana.
New Karts
Casino Bruiser (High-End): A black and green chequered variant of the normal Bruiser, this ride is sure to match Luigi’s new costume as he goes from riches to races. Its boosted skill is Slipstream Plus.
Pepper Pedaller (High-End): A variant of the Banana Master which features a supersize chili pepper. Despite his hatred for spicy food, it does match King Boo’s big, red tongue. Its boosted skill is Rocket Start Plus.
Gold Bruiser (High-End): A gold version of the normal Bruiser, this kart is perfect for anyone who wants to express their interest in high fashion. Its boosted skill is Mini-Turbo Plus.
New Gliders
Spicy Glider (High-End): A red variant of the Tropical Glider; instead of bananas, this tree grows… chili peppers? Its boosted item is the Super Horn.
Pipe Spotlights
Pipe 1: Luigi (Casino), Casino Bruiser, Fireworks Parachute Pipe 2: King Boo (Sunshine), Pepper Pedaller, Spicy Glider
Special Pipe
Night Out Pipe: Peach (Vacation), Pauline (Party Time), Rosalina (Aurora), Daisy (Yukata)
This pipe celebrates fashion and the lifestyles of those that visit night-time casinos. Peach, Pauline, Rosalina, and Daisy arrive wearing their best outfits! This pipe starts off with 30 items in it. None of the drivers are spotlights and you only pull a maximum of 3 High-End drivers.
(UPDATE: Of course, Nintendo decided to go and reveal an amazing new Pauline alt as soon as I’m about to publish this.)
Track Selection
The 12 tracks of this tour idea feature starry skies and night-time cities as well as a couple of Boo related courses:
New York Minute 3 Vancouver Velocity RMX Rainbow Road 1 SNES Ghost Valley 1 SNES Rainbow Road N64 Frappe Snowland DS Luigi’s Mansion DS Waluigi Pinball Wii Moonview Highway 3DS Shy Guy Bazaar 3DS Neo Bowser City 3DS Rosalina’s Ice World
Tour Gifts/Gold Pass
Normal Gifts: Ludwig, Bullet Blaster, Parachute Gold Pass Gifts: King Boo, Bull’s-Eye Banzai, Gold Bruiser, Plaid Ribbon
Thank You
Thank you for reading! This tour idea was super unique and some of the ideas took a while to perfect. Of course, my love for Mario Sunshine just had to seep in but there’s nothing wrong with some King Boo love (he needs more alts). I feel like if Nintendo were to do an idea like this, they could pull off something really interesting but it's once in a blue moon we get unique ideas like this.
Thanks for reading and have a great day. :)
Next Tour…
With this hint, you should be able to take a bite at guessing what’s next. I wonder what ideas this plants into your mind…

E con questo ho finito il diario di viaggio per ora, perché sono alla fermata del 1969 e ne avrò ancora per qualche settimana prima di vedere tutto quanto voglio vedere. Poi metterò nero su bianco. Alla prossima!
1965
Prima di dare una rapida scorsa a quest’anno con qualcuno dei film che ho amato di più mi piace fare anche qualche altra segnalazione: tra le mini-serie è nota quella con Juliette Greco: “Belfagor”, che è un mystery molto lento per i nostri gusti, ma l’ho finito lo stesso tutto perché mi piaceva. Parte quest’anno la felicissima serie di “Giochi senza Frontiere”, che per una ventina d’anni fu uno degli appuntamenti più amati dei telespettatori italiani. In tv vanno ancora i fantasy come “Strega per amore”, con Larry Hagman prima di far soldi col petrolio. Esordisce Sally Field nel telefilm “Gidget”, aveva 15 anni.
Passiamo ai film allora, ma devo lasciare da parte Zivago, Connery, Dentone, Giuletta degli Spiriti, Michael Caine, Leone, Burton, Carrà e Julie Andrews. Ahimé.
“Repulsion” di Polanski è una delle più belle prove di Catherine Deneuve, che più guardo i suoi film più entra di prepotenza nella classifica delle mie attrici preferite. La Deneuve qui è una ragazza che ha qualche problema: è ossessiva, soffre di disturbi psichiatrici, ha delle allucinazioni. Il suo status peggiora una sera che resta da sola a casa. Nessuno si accorge veramente di quanto soffra e la ragazza peggiora sempre di più, con risvolti drammatici. Dico solo che la scena della crepa nel muro è fenomenale.
“Io la conoscevo bene” di Pietrangeli, è un film con Stefania Sandrelli e Mario Adorf. La Sandrelli ha avuto tipo tre carriere: quella di giovane star italiana, quella post-Brass e quella di attrice di esperienza che sta vivendo adesso. Il suo sguardo timido e dimesso di questo film ha molto in comune con quello della Cardinale prima maniera. La Sandrelli vede infrangersi sul selciato le sue speranze di diventare una star del cinema perché gli uomini che le girano intorno la sfruttano e la illudono. Tra questi c’è Adorf, che è un attore che mi piace un sacco. Un genitore tedesco e uno italiano, Adorf si è mosso senza problemi da un set all’altro mostrando enorme versatilità: lo trovi nelle commedie italiane anni ’60 e lo trovi nei film tv tedeschi alla Derrick, per lui nessun problema.
“La vita corre sul filo” di Pollack, con Poitier e Bancroft è un thriller che si svolge nello sguardo di Sidney Poiter e nell’ansia di aiutare una donna che dall’altro lato di un telefono amico segnala la sua volontà di suicidarsi. Poiter non è esperto, ma è di turno, e ormai ha preso in carico il caso. Tutto quello che deve fare è trattenere la Bancroft a lungo, molto a lungo, affinché possano rintracciare la chiamata e impedire il suo gesto. Questo film è interessante perché non c’è mai nessuna allusione al colore della pelle di Poitier, non è rilevante per il plot.
“Rapimento” di John Guillermin con Patricia Gozzi, Dean Stockwell e Melvyn Douglas. La Gozzi l’ho citata già in un film con Hardy Kruger. A me questa attrice piace molto, è davvero intensa e drammatica. Qui veramente siamo in un contesto di puro e assoluto squallore, perché la Gozzi vive una vita solitaria in un luogo isolato col padre Melvyn Douglas. Un giorno arriva nei dintorni un evaso, e la Gozzi fa amicizia con lui. Lei ha bisogno di vivere, mentre il padre vorrebbe tenerla in casa e buttare la chiave. È uno di quei film che sembra che fuori sia autunno e che piova anche se è mezzogiorno di una giornata di maggio.
“La decima vittima” di Elio Petri, vede Mastroianni e Andress in un futuro imprecisato darsi la caccia a vicenda. C’è una specie di reality show in giro in cui ci sono i cacciatori e le prede. I cacciatori devono uccidere 10 prede, e le prede devono sfuggire loro. Non si può mai sapere i gusti della gente. Questo futuro ha comunque i colori degli anni ’60, lo stile e la criniera di Ursula Andress che guarda caso è una delle più brave cacciatrici. Deve far fuori Mastroianni, ma prima vuole un po’ giocare al gatto e al topo.
“Bunny Lake è scomparsa” di Otto Preminger, è un cupo thriller con Keir Dullea, Carol Lynley e Laurence Olivier. A dire il vero Olivier ha una parte molto marginale, fondamentalmente è il film della Lynley e di Dullea. Per chi non avesse dimestichezza con questi volti, la Lynley fu attiva a cavallo tra i ’60 e il ’70 ed è una delle vittime del Poseidon, mentre Dullea è la star di 2001 Odissea nello spazio ed è un attore che si è sempre fatto i fatti suoi, non è mai diventato star di prima categoria, ma si è scelto delle parti interessanti come questa qui. Insomma Dullea è il fratello di Lynley, e non si trova la bambina di lei. L’hanno portata a scuola, ma nessuna l’ha vista, le maestre non l’hanno vista, le amiche nemmeno. Questa bimba non esiste. La Lynley se la sarà immaginata? Lei è certa di avere una bimba, è certa, esiste!
“Il collezionista” è uno dei film meno noti di William Wyler, con Terence Stamp e Samantha Eggar. Stamp, di lui non c’è mai da fidarsi. Ha deciso che invece di collezionare farfalle gli piace collezionare ragazze, e un giorno cattura la Eggar e la chiude nel suo scantinato. Lui non ha fatto niente di male, la Eggar viene trattata coi guanti, ha da mangiare, ha di che svagarsi, ha tutto, basta solo che sia felice di essere reclusa a vita da un pazzo e che non provi mai a scappare, che ci vuole?
1966
Eccoci al ’66, che bello quest’anno di cinema, bello! Qualche riga su altri generi e poi passo ai film che mi vien voglia di ricordare.
“Qolga” è un corto che ho trovato in youtube del regista Kobakhidze. Si tratta di un ragazzo che vive da solo lungo i binari del treno e ha un’amica che ogni tanto lo va a trovare. All’improvviso un ombrello prende vita e inizia a volare da solo. In quest’anno parte la serie “Tre nipoti e un maggiordomo”, con Brian Keith e 3 baby star, ciascuno con la sua dose di sfortuna personale. Questa serie ha i colori e le moquette giuste per immergersi negli anni ’60. Ovviamente questo è l’anno di “Star Trek”, di “Batman” e “Mission impossibile”. Si tratta di tre serie di culto che tutti ovviamente ben conoscono. Tra i rari film tv di buon livello degli anni ’60 c’è uno di Rossellini: “La presa del potere da parte di Luigi XIV” che è anche uno dei film preferiti del padre da parte di Isabella. Poi esce la famosa versione animata del Grinch che ruba il Natale.
“Chi ha paura di Virginia Woolf?” è il film che regala a Liz Taylor il suo secondo oscar. Ci sono solo 4 personaggi (vabbé 6 c’è una scena al bar) che sarebbero Liz Taylor e il marito Burton, George Segal e Sandy Dennis. Sono uno più bravo dell’altro. Nel film sono due coppie, una che sta insieme da un po’ e l’altra di recente formazione. Burton e Taylor hanno un passato difficile da superare, ma tirano avanti. La loro casa è lo specchio della loro persona, è piena di cose ingombranti e fuori posto, e tra i due ci sono frecciatine ogni secondo, qualcuna passa inosservata e qualcuna fa assai male. I due sposini sono praticamente scioccati. La scena cult per me è quando Liz Taylor dichiara al marito che pur con tutti i suoi difetti non è comunque un mostro. Sandy Dennis pure brava assai è una delle attrici dimenticate di fine anni ’60.
“Persona” è un film di Bergman in cui ci sono due donne, Bibi Andersson e Liv Ullmann. La Ullmann è muta e la Andersson è la sua infermiera. La Andersson parla parla e la Ullmann ascolta e ascolta. Il legame tra le due è forte e particolare. Si vedono sempre più spesso e la Ullmann sembra migliorare, mentre la Andersson mostra una certa inquietudine. Parla, ma a se stessa, e la Ullman risponde anche senza dire niente. Lentamente i loro volti cominciano a somigliarsi sempre di più, e la voce di Bibi diventa la voce di Liv. Non c’è più distinzione tra le due, sono diventate una persona sola. Si stanno fondendo. Ma non è mica possibile una cosa simile.
“La nera di…” è un film di Ousmane Sembene, cioè uno dei primi e rari film di autori africani. La storia è molto semplice, c’è una ragazza senegalese che va a servizio in una casa di una coppia francese. Lontana dalla famiglia la ragazza ha il suo lettino, le sue riviste, le sue scarpe, le sue sensazioni, ma la coppia presso cui lavora la considera come il vaso a centro tavola o il quadretto appeso accanto alla porta. Le giornate passano e la ragazza si spegne poco a poco. Tutto qua, ma provate a vedere lo stesso se è tutto qua.
“Incompreso” è il drammone strappalacrime di Comencini con Anthony Quayle che diventa vedovo e non si accorge della sofferenza del primogenito, che si sacrifica per il bene del fratello minore viziato dal papà. Non che Quayle sia cattivo, per carità, è solo che non se ne accorge. Il ragazzino gli vuole bene lo stesso e un giorno un ramo fa crac e lui si fa male. Madonna quanto si piange con questo film, cioè è impossibile, nel senso che è non-possibile non commuoversi quando papà e figlio si parlano finalmente a cuore aperto. L’attore protagonista ha recitato solo questo film, oggi è un medico, è stato bravissimo con almeno 4 esse.
“La caccia” di Carlos Saura è un film in cui ci sono alcuni amici che vanno a caccia di conigli. Fa troppo caldo. Dovrebbero dar retta ai conigli, ma invece si mettono a ricordare il passato e non so chi glielo fa fare, perché da quel momento nessuno più è al sicuro, e si danno la caccia a vicenda. Vediamo chi ci resta secco.
Davvero c’è tanto in quest’anno: Manfredi e Adorf alle prese con San Gennaro, le solitudini dell’uomo e la donna di Lelouch, i russi che sbarcano negli USA e Fahrenheit 451 di Truffaut. Poi Polanski gira Cul de Sac con la sorella della Deneuve, Eastwood non manca un colpo e le foto di Antonioni di Blow-up dove le mettiamo? Mi sono divertito un sacco con la partita di poker di “Posta grossa a Dodge city”, e l’asinello Balthazar di Bresson è uno dei finali più drammatici della storia, non pensavo che avrei retto tutta la visione di “Andrej Rublev”, e invece sì, e poi c’è il realismo mai visto della “Battaglia di Algeri”. E potrei anche continuare. Uno dei miei anni preferiti insomma.
1967
Siccome col 1966 ho preso per le lunghe, volevo sintetizzare col 1967, ma pure qui c’è un sacco di bei film. C’è pure “The big shave” che è uno dei primi lavori di Scorsese. Un uomo si rade e si taglia. Purtroppo per lui, il taglio non è un taglietto, giusto così perché si trova in youtube e dura 5 minuti.
Il mio film preferito di quest’anno è “La calda notte dell’ispettore Tibbs”. Io non l’avrei mai detto, mi dovete credere, ci avrei scommesso nemmeno 2 centesimi perché i polizieschi un po’ mi stufano, e poi i film che parlano di razzismo negli anni ’60 siccome li sto vedendo in sequenza ne ho visto un casino e poi forse il titolo non mi ispira, ma invece sono rimasto attaccato subito dai primi minuti, adoro Steige e Poitier, e quando Poitier schiaffeggia a sorpresa il tizio nella serra vi giuro è una delle scene più intense e belle e vere, ho cliccato su 10 su IMDb e da lì non cambio idea.
Il problema è che ho messo 10 anche a “indovina chi viene a cena?” che ha il dubbio onore di essere il film dagli albori al 1967 che ho visto più volte in vita mia, ne conto con certezza 6. Potrei dire di che colore sono i fiori nei vasi e quanti calzini ha Tracy nell’armadio. In questo film per me funziona tutto, mi manda dei brividi di nostalgia di un’epoca della quale sono un prodotto culturale, sono un GenX nel midollo probabilmente e sarà per quello che questo film non mi stanca mai.
Non ce la faccio a non segnalare almeno il titolo di “A piedi nudi nel parco” e devo dichiarare che anche se il finale di “Riflessi in un occhio d’oro” è qualcosa di davvero particolare, Robert Forster in quel film è di una bellezza sconvolgente. I colori di “Le Samourai” di Melville sono elegantissimi, il film è una goduria per gli occhi. Poi ci sono i filmoni da macho di Lee Marvin tipo “una sporca dozzina” e c’è Paul Newman e Dustin Hoffman, Dirk Bogard fa venire i brividi in “Tutte le sere alle nove” quando torna a prendere possesso della casa coi 7 figli che ha abbandonato e in “La bisbetica domata” la coppia Burton-Taylor funziona anche se mai lo diresti in quell’ambientazione lì.
“Gli occhi della notte” vede Audrey Hepburn nei panni di una cieca che vive al piano terra di una bella casa dove ogni cosa è giusto dove deve essere, ma a quanto pare Alan Arkin è convinto che ci sia anche qualcosa che gli serve per evitare di essere accusato di omicidio. La Hepburn è all’oscuro di tutto (oddio che battuta) ma scema non è, così quando uno strano visitatore si insinua in casa sua con le scuse più formidabili lei inizia a sospettare. È uno dei thriller meglio congegnati mai visti questo qui, e non è nemmeno di Hitchcock! Non avevo mai realizzato quanto siano importanti le lampadine nel frigorifero.
“New York: ore tre- L’ora dei vigliacchi”, questo titolo mi fa cagare però il film è bello. C’è la gente che prende la metro per tornare a casa, però è tardi e due grandissimi stronzi e cioè Tony Musante e Martin Sheen hanno voglia di divertirsi a modo loro, così entrano nella metro e iniziano a infastidire uno dopo l’altro tutti i passeggeri. C’è una quantità di arroganza, prepotenza e violenza gratuita in questo film che davvero la mascella si spacca dalla rabbia repressa che ti suscita. Si vede che il film funziona. È quando tu stai per fatti tuoi e questi ti devono bullizzare e non solo: la gente non alza 1 dito per aiutarti! Veramente, questo film è fatto bene. Per non parlare dei poliziotti che appena riescono a entrare nel vagone con chi se la vanno a prendere? No quello proprio non l’ho potuto soffrire! Bel film.
“L’armata a cavallo” di Miklos Jancso è un film che fa venire il mal di testa. Siamo in guerra, è la guerra civile russa, ma non è importante, potrebbe essere una qualsiasi guerra. Qui non riusciamo a prendere posizione, la guerra fa schifo non importa di quale fazione tu sia. 10 minuti di film con gli occhi di una fazione e i loro progressi e le loro vittime, nemmeno fai in tempo a riconoscere i volti di queste persone che vengono fatte fuori dagli avversari, e Jancso ti trascina altri 10 minuti dalla loro parte, ti fa vedere i loro progressi e le loro vittime, i loro villaggi desolati e le torture. Ci rimani male, ma ecco che si passa all’altro punto di vista. E’ un film intelligente ed elegante.
C’è ancora lo choc incredibile di “Gangster Story” con il picco di bellezza di Faye Dunaway e il sangue che esplode sulla bianca pelle di Bonnie e Clyde, così come bianca immacolata è la schiena di Catherine Deneuve, perfetta protagonista di “Bella di giorno” di Bunuel, altro film simbolo dell’epoca, un’epoca in cui andavano i film di sexploitation tipo “Vixen” e roba del genere, pieni di tette e recitazione di serie b, ma che entravano a pieno nella cultura di fine decennio, che si sta avvicinando a quel ’68 di cui tanto spesso abbiamo sentito parlare come di una sorta di spartiacque culturale.
Per finire, è intelligente e complesso il volto di Bekim Fehmiu in “Protest” di Fadil Hadzic, ma che le h e le z non ingannino, il film si vede e si capisce perché parla di un’insoddisfazione che non ha bisogno di vocabolario. Poi c’è il cult camp “la valle delle bambole” con la sfortunata Sharon Tate, gli occhi penetranti della Mangano in “Edipo Re”, centomila spaghetti western, è l’altro drammone di Bresson “Mouchette”, con protagonista una ragazza che racchiude in sé tutto il bullismo subito da tutti gli adolescenti della storia della Pubblica Istruzione, veramente solo chi ha il cuore di pietra non si commuove con questa ragazza qui.
1968
Non mi pare vero che sto scrivendo del 1968 perché è l’ultimo anno che ho finito di vedere e anche se questa carrellata non vale poi molto almeno l’ho portata a termine, il che per me vale molto.
Prima di iniziare una piccola deviazione: in quest’anno c’è l’esordio di Spielberg, col corto “Amblin’” da cui quindi deriva la sua casa di produzione che è la Amblin Enterteinment! Altro corto è lo sperimentale “Hermitage”, di Carmelo Bene. Tra le mini-serie esce quest’anno l’Odissea di Franco Rossi. Fu un clamoroso successo riproposto dalla tv nostrana per vent’anni. Il ritmo è lento, ma i volti di Bekim Fehmiu e quello di Irene Papas sono senza tempo. Grandissimo l’episodio con Polifemo e ovviamente il finale coi Proci. Prima di diventare nota come cantante e presentatrice, Loretta Goggi era una precocissima attrice e la “Freccia Nera” fu uno dei suoi più noti successi.
Ok, allora andiamo veloci veloci, con lo stiloso “Diabolik” che era il bel John Phillip Law; le torture che patisce Alan Bates nell”’uomo di Kiev” pochi altri nella storia; Sordi è medico nella muta e Franco Nero aveva gli occhi più celesti mai visti. Sellers fa pisciar sotto anche le statue in “Hollywood Party” mentre la Vitti prende in mano la pistola e si colloca nella sua dimensione comica dopo anni di Antonioni. Rod Steiger è un gay represso ne “il sergente”, mentre Terence Stamp non fa preferenze di sesso in “Teorema” di Pasolini.
Steve McQueen è l’essere più figo mai apparso sulla terra in “Bullitt” e “Il caso Thomas Crown” ma nemmeno Clint Eeastwood scherza e voglio vedere chi scampa a un impiccagione come in “impiccalo più in alto” e chi è scazzato come lui in “L’uomo dalla cravatta di cuoio”.
“Fuoco!” di Gian Vittorio Baldi è la sorpresina nell’ovetto Kinder del 1968. Siamo in un paesello del sud Italia e un tizio spara alla statua della Madonna durante una processione, poi si barrica in casa, con la moglie e il bambino che se la fanno sotto, e col fucile in mano si rifiuta di uscire e di dare spiegazioni. Poche parole, un set poverissimo, nemmeno tante spiegazioni ma per 1 ora e mezza sei nella casa e forse nella testa di questo ragazzo. Bellissimo film!
“La sposa in nero” di Truffaut è la storia della vedova nera Jeanne Moreau (quanto mi è piaciuto questo film) che si era sposata da 5 secondi che le ammazzano il marito sulle scale della chiesa. Pensa prima di buttarsi dalla finestra poi decide che invece le conviene dare la caccia ai killer del marito. La curva della bocca della Moreau è perfetta per questa parte e vi assicuro che il modo in cui si ingegna per far fuori quei quattro è incredibile. Purtroppo questo film mi fa anche venire in mente la storia di Marta Russo ma lasciamo perdere.
“L’urlo del silenzio” è il film che Alan Arkin per me prima valeva 6, 6 e mezzo mentre adesso invece sotto il 9 non scende. Arkin è un sordo muto ed è così solo, ma così solo, che lui il lockdown ce l’ha di default. Mi fa venire la forchetta in gola. Comunque sia affitta una camera in una casa con una famiglia sgangherata ma tutto sommato ok, e fa amicizia con Sondra Locke. Ma nemmeno lei è il vaccino che può curare la sua solitudine. Malinconia a quintalate.
“Duello nel Pacifico” di John Boorman ci sono 2 persone solamente e cioè Lee Marvin e Toshiro Mifune. Sono in guerra e sono da soli in un’isola sperduta. Ognuno dei due vuole far fuori quell’altro, ma alla fine prevale la voglia di sopravvivere, chissenefrega se devo chiedere aiuto al nemico. Il finale di questo film, io sottoscritto dichiaro che David Lynch l’ha visto e gli è piaciuto.
E ora acceleriamo su quel pacco gigante pieno di innovazione che è “La notte dei morti viventi”, sul sudore e il calore di “C’era una volta il west”, il mio Leone preferito, sull’indelebile statua della libertà del “Pianeta delle Scimmie”, sui brividi che fanno venire lo sguardo di Sidney Blackmer e i sorrisi di Ruth Gordon in “Rosemary’s baby”, uno dei film che più mi ha fatto cagare sotto in vita mia, per dire due righe in più su “Kuroneko” di Kaneto Shindo, che è la storia di una vendetta operata da due donne vittime di stupro e poi uccise da una gang di samurai. Le due diventano dei fantasmi e uno dopo l’altro, in un’atmosfera onirica e agghiacciante conducono i samurai nel loro nascondiglio per farli fuori senza pietà alcuna. Un film con le palle.
Mi rimangono 2 film, il primo è “2001: odissea nello spazio” e io ho paura a parlare di Kubrick perché su Kubrick tutti hanno un’opinione e sanno argomentare meglio di me, così mi limito a dire che questo film l’ho visto come quando giochi agli incremental e fai prestige. La prima volta 15 minuti, la seconda volta ho retto 30 minuti, la terza volta 1 ora e la quarta volta finalmente avevo le skill giuste e ho goduto da pazzi.
Il mio film preferito del 1968 è “The Swimmer” di Frank Perry e Sydney Pollack, con Burt Lancaster. Lancaster si mantiene bene anche se ha già i suoi anni sulle spalle, e un giorno compare nella villa di amici, si fa una vasca in piscina e poi dichiara che se ne torna a casa a nuoto, passando da piscina in piscina, di villa in villa, lungo tutta la vallata. Armato solo del suo costume, si incammina verso la seconda piscina: una vasca e due chiacchiere coi padroni. Le persone che vede sono inizialmente cordiali e felici di parlare con lui, ma a ogni villa qualcosa non sembra andare per il verso giusto: c’è chi sbruffa, chi gli rinfaccia qualcosa, chi esplicitamente lo manda a quel paese. Lancaster stesso perde lo slancio e un po’ il sorriso. Se a un certo punto si sentiva così bene da poter reggere il confronto con un cavallo, improvvisamente si fa male e inizia a zoppicare. La villa successiva pare più lontana, e più ostile. Ad ogni villa scopriamo un pezzo della vita di quest’uomo, e lui con noi. Non possiamo sentire l’acqua sulla pelle, ma ti monta l’ansia. Lancaster pare invecchiato, i suoi piedi sono sporchi, i suoi occhi lucidi, le sue labbra sofferenti. Un’altra villa, e pare trascinarsi, e una piscina ancora, e nuota a fatica, e finalmente casa.
Non ho dormito la notte perché non volevo fare il mio sogno ricorrente in cui sogno di partire dalla mia casa di bimbo per arrivare alla mia casa attuale, e parto di corsa per poi andare piano, sempre più piano, per poi trascinarmi, fino a che non vedo la porta in lontananza, e non riesco ad aprirla, mai.

“I want X for Switch”, “when is X coming to the Switch”, “X is perfect for the Switch!” How often have you heard or said these sentences? Quite a lot, probably, especially about Nintendo franchises. Nintendo fans really like first-party games, and they’re always asking for their favorites to come back. Problem is, even though Nintendo owns dozens of franchises, there’s only a few that are guaranteed to show up during any given console, so fans of smaller franchises are left wondering when they’ll play them again.
Well, today I’ll try to mostly answer these questions. I’ll take a look at several, Nintendo-owned franchises and try to figure out what are their chances of coming to Switch. I’ll be basing myself on this such as release schedule, success of previous entries, popular demand, market niche and internal interest at Nintendo.
However, keep in mind two things. One: Nintendo owns a shit-ton of IPs, and I won’t cover them all. I’ll focus on the ones that have multiple entries, and even then, I might skip a few if I feel I have no meaningful insight.
And two: No matter what I or anyone else says, the chances for any of these games to come back is NOT ZERO. Nintendo is unpredictable and they’ll sometimes bring something out of the blue when you least expect it. This year alone we saw the return of Brain Age (a franchise not seen since 2012), Clubhouse Games (a sequel to a game from 2005), and Famicom Detective Club, a franchise with two games from 1988/89, which then received a remake in 1998 and then nothing until twenty two years later. Granted, it’s another remake, but it is still a modern installment in a franchise twenty two years dormant. If Famicom Detective Club can come back in 2020, so can your favorite franchise. Now, let’s begin, in alphabetical order:
Art Academy
Starting off with a small one. Art Academy is a series of drawing games that started on the DS in 2010 and then released pretty consistently over the following years, with three entries on 3DS and two (well, one and a half) for the WiiU between 2010 and 2016. Already this feels like a franchise with a pretty consistent release schedule, even though it hasn’t been seen for four years now. I don’t think any of the games were blockbusters, per se, but they also don’t need to be. They’re small games, probably inexpensive to produce that seem to do consistently well enough to get new sequels.
There are several obstacles that present themselves to the release of a new Art Academy, but I think all of them are easily overcome. For starters, AA is the type of casual game that thrived during the DS/Wii eras, a Touch Generations game. Since the Switch released, many have noted that Nintendo may want to distance themselves from that era due to the failure of the WiiU, and there may be some truth to that, but I feel like this is starting to change. Again, this year saw the return of both Brain Age and Clubhouse Games, both casual, Touch Generations DS games. I feel like, at the start of the Switch’s life cycle, Nintendo was indeed trying to focus on core gamers, but now that they have secured that core gamer audience, they may be more comfortable releasing more casual fare.
Furthermore Art Academy is developed by Headstrong Games, a British developer that doesn’t seem to do much other than AA. However, in 2017, that team was absorbed into its parent studio, Kuju Games. This move, which happened the year after the last AA game released, may have something to do with the franchsie’s MIA status. But, Kuju games is still active, having released a game just last year, and I don’t see why they couldn’t take up the mantle.
Finally, some speculated a few years ago that AA was dead due to the Switch not having a stylus but, OH WAIT, Brain Age fixed that too!
All in all, even though Art Academy is hardly a hot franchise, there’s very little standing in the way of its return, and little reason to doubt that it will.
Chances: Good
Chibi-Robo!
We may have started on a positive note, but here comes a downer. Chibi-Robo is probably not coming back anytime soon. This cute little robot debuted in his self-titled Game Cube game, developed by Skip Ltd. Like most games by the developer, it was quirky and fun, and not very popular, but had its fans, and Chibi-Robo must have endeared someone at Nintendo, because he kept showing up here and there. He got two DS sequels, though the second one was Japan-only, already a red flag. In 2013, he starred in a 3DS eshop game that was very different from the main games, more of an experimental spin-off, and was not well-received.
But the real final nail came in 2015, with Chibi-Robo Zip Lash! The game was announced to be a 2D platformer, and many fans identified the change in genre (from a unique adventure game to one of the most over-saturated genres in Nintendo consoles) as a total sell-out, and they were totally correct! The developers basically admitted that they did it to try and get more players (red flag). Series producer Kensuke Tanabe then said that if the game didn’t sell well, it could be the end of the franchise (RED FLAG). And then, the unfortunate but inevitable happened. Zip Lash was a critical and commercial bomb, and neither the developer nor the franchise has been seen again. Aside from the inevitable Smash Bros mentions, Chibi-Robo has only been seen on that infamous flaming tweet from 2018 (I told you someone at Nintendo really likes them). To make matters worse, there are increasing signs that Skip Ltd may be going under
So, a struggling franchise makes a desperate move to gain fans, a developer expresses concerns for its future if the game bombs, said game bombs and now the developer may be going out of business? It seems the writing is on the wall.
Now, even if Skip goes under, that is not necessarily the end of Chibi. Nintendo would still retain the rights, as they did for Trace Memory and Hotel Dusk after developer Cing went under. As for whether or not Nintendo would want to give the franchise a second (third? Fourth?) chance, it doesn’t look good
Chances: Very bad
Custom Robo
From one diminutive robot to another, the Custom Robo series is and robo-battle series that began on the N64. It was Japan only, as was its N64 and GBA sequels. Afterwards, Nintendo did try to expand it, releasing a GameCube game in NA, and a DS game in NA and Europe. However, despite the fact that players of these games will attest to how good these games are, they didn’t seem to do very well, and the franchise has not been seen since 2007.
There was one statement of internal interest, when a developer in 2014 said that he heard demands both inside and outside the company for a new entry, but that there were no plans for one, and he was unsure when there would be. Six years on, it seems there still aren’t. In fact, the developer itself, Noise, is also strangely MIA. Though they are officially still active, with their website being updated for 2020, they have not worked on a game since 2015.
Then, in 2018, many fans watched in horror the news that Nintendo let the trademark expire. Some have pointed out that this isn’t as bad as it seems, as it refers specifically to games on optical discs, which Nintendo doesn’t make anymore, but I don’t know enough about the subject to say for certain. Regardless, it’s evident that Nintendo still owns the franchise, as Custom Robo content appears in Smash Ultimate.
On the other hand, one of the series creators, Kohji Kendoh, is still thinking about it. He is working for another developer, and released a suspiciously similar game called Synaptic Drive just this year, as well as talking about Custom Robo in social media. It seems like a Mighty no9/ Yooka-Laylee/Bloodstained situation, in which the owner of an Ip is not using it, so the creator releases a spiritual successor.
Bottom line, there seems to be demand for Custom Robo. A developer saw it six years ago, and the creator is seeing it now. Whether or not thinks this demand is enough to revive the franchise, is tough to say, but doesn’t look great.
Not as bad as Chibi-Robo, though
Chances: Bad
Daigasso! Band Brothers
Here’s a franchise Americans never got. Daigasso! Band Brother is a rhythm game released for the DS in 2004 and stars Barbara the Bat, who has an uncharacteristically risqué design for Nintendo. The game was Japan-only but seems to have been successful, it received a sequel in 2009 (released in Europe, but not NA), and another in 2013 for the 3DS. Despite not having received new games since then, the series is far from inactive. Barbara the Bat in particular, like Chibi-Robo, seems to have fans inside Nintendo because she pops up everywhere. She had cameos in a few other DS games, she was an AT in Brawl and a spirit in Ultimate, she was a costume in Mario Maker, she appeared in a comic strip with WarioWare’s Ashley, and the series has a Twitter account that was super active all the way up to April of this year (more on that later). In 2017, that account even tweeted a comic strip of Barbara demanding a Switch. That was probably not a tease of anything, as it’s been 3 years and nothing, but stuff has happened with the franchise even more recently.
Last year, in 2019, six years after the release of the 3DS game, there were 30 songs added to the game in celebration of the series 15th anniversary. So as late as last year, Nintendo was celebrating this franchise with an in-game event. Now, the servers for the game were shut down earlier this year (hence the end of the Twitter account), and the game was removed from the eshop (as it is basically pointless without the servers), but with recent news that the 3DS has ceased production, it’s pretty clear that the game’s end is a consequence of the 3DS’ end, and not a lack of players. So if the series is alive, but can’t be on the 3DS, it has to go somewhere, no? Bottom line: the games are successful, the series is active, and the character is popular. I don’t know if Barbara the Bat’s next tour will be an international one, but I’m confident it will happen
Chances: Very Good
Dillon’s Rolling Western
DRW is a unique western-themed tower defense game released on the 3DS eshop in 2012. It received mixed reviews, but had a dedicated fanbase, and was successful enough to spawn two sequels, one in 2013, and a post-apocalyptic themed one in 2018. With a game having released just two years ago, its reasonable to say the series is not dormant, so the prospect of a new game is always likely. The developer, Vanpool, who mostly works on smaller scale stuff like this, is both still active and still working at Nintendo.
So, really the only reason to believe the series wouldn’t continue would be if the latest game bombed really hard. It’s hard to say that it did, as sales figures are unavailable, but it was a 3DS game in 2018, probably didn’t set the charts on fire. But then again, unless Nintendo had some really unrealistically high expectations, I don’t think it could have bombed hard enough to kill the franchise that fast.
There’s not much more to say. There aren’t any rumblings of a return, but also no reason to be pessimistic.
Chance: Above Average
Earthbound
Let’s make one thing perfectly clear: There will not be a Mother 4
The Creator of the series, Shigesato Itoi, has said that he would not work on a fourth installment, as he feels the story is complete. Now, normally, Nintendo could just say “screw creative integrity, let’s make a fourth game anyway!” but Shigesato Itoi directly co-owns the series’ copyright so they actually can’t. So unless Itoi changes his mind, or he dies and Nintendo decides to ignore his wishes (neither scenario is completely outside the realm of possibility), Mother 4 is not happening.
So, if new Mother content is made, it’d be either a remake, or Mother 3 localization. We all know demand for this last one is overwhelming, Nintendo themselves have acknowledged it multiple times, but it still hasn’t happened, and it doesn’t seem things have changed. A remake is possible, but don’t hold your breath for it.
Despite the series’ popularity, I think all we’ll see of it is the first two games in NSO.
Chances: Bad
Excitebike
This is a hard one to pinpoint. Excitebike is one of those classic NES games that Nintendo likes to reference all the time, like Ice Climber, Balloon Fight, Wrecking Crew and Duck Hunt. Unlike those, Excitebike actually received sequels and established a franchised. There was a great entry on the N64 and three entries on the Wii, but nothing more since. I can’t imagine the Wii entries were super successful, and there really hasn’t been any word from Nintendo about any interest in reviving the series, either from developers, or the fans. The developer of the Wii games, Monster Games, is still active, and still makes racing games and extreme sports games, but hasn’t worked with Nintendo in 5 years.
Now, one point I see often, and that I’d like to address, is the idea that Nintendo doesn’t want multiple games from the same genre on the same console. I can’t agree. With the exception of the WiiU, every Nintendo home console since the SNES has had multiple Nintendo-published racing games released for it. WiiU didn’t but that console is an exception to many norms. I don’t see why Mario Kart, behemoth that it is, would stop any other racing game from being made, especially when they are so very different (although the fact that MK8 has an Excitebike track doesn’t inspire confidence).
No, I don’t think Mario Kart is the problem, I think is just lack of interest. And though Excitebike is not a franchise Nintendo will ever truly forget, it’s not really revving up for a comeback either. It could happen, it could not
Chances: Medium
Fatal Frame
This horror franchise wasn’t originally a Nintendo product, being released on the PS2 by Tecmo. However, since the fourth game, each title in the series has been published and copyrighted by Nintendo, and this seemingly applies to all future entries, as the series producer said the series’ future is up to Nintendo. So, how does that future look like?
Well, the last game in the series, Maiden of Black Water, was a WiiU game, which means it didn’t sell well, but not as badly as you might think. From all I could find, which is admittedly not much, sales for the game seemed to be only slightly less than previous entries, a gap more than explainable by its console. So, if the series was getting sequels before, the WiiU game’s sales wouldn’t be the reason why there wouldn’t be more. And though Nintendo of America has had to take baby steps into accepting the franchise overseas, Nintendo of Japan seemed satisfied with it, releasing four games between 2008 and 2014.
So sales aren’t an evident problem, what about the developer? That developer is Tecmo Koei, who is not only active and buddies with Nintendo, their current project is none other than Nintendo’s big holiday title. There’s obvious trust there. As for interest, there is a lot. From Koei Tecmo calling it a valuable IP, to the series producer stating multiple times, including this year, that he’d like to bring it to the Switch
Now, this comment pretty much confirms that a new Fatal Frame is not in development as of now, but it has a chance of happening. And remember, the last game is on WiiU, and if we know anything about those, is that they like to come to Switch. And though I don’t see Nintendo breaking their necks to make a new entry, I don’t think they’d oppose it if Tecmo pitches it to them, especially if it’s just a port.
Chances: Good
Fossil Fighters
This game is not Pokémon, or so its fans tell me. Fossil Fighters is a DS game from 2008 where you collect various species of dinosaur and battle with other ~Dinosaur Trainers~ Fossil Fighters in RPG battles. It didn’t receive great reviews, but was successful enough to get a sequel two years later, and another one on the 3DS in 2014. Three games in six years is a pretty good release schedule, and things were looking alright, until that 3DS game came. It was primarily developed by a different studio, and it showed. The game received abysmal reviews, and fan reception was similar. Sales weren’t awful, but not great either.
Since then, the series has been completely quiet. The developer, Red Entertainment, is still active, but hasn’t worked with Nintendo since the 3DS game. As for interest, there hasn’t been a peep from Nintendo about this series at all. No interviews describing vague interest in bringing it bad, no acknowledgment of fan demand, no cameos in other games (aside from Smash, which doesn’t count, Smash has everything). Even fan demand doesn’t seem too high, most of what I’ve seen is a Change.org petition which has been up for a year and has not reached its 2500 signatures goal.
It looks like this series could become a fossil itself. Someday some might dig it up and revive it to use in battle, but I’m not feeling it.
Still not as bad as Chibi-Robo
Chances: Bad
F-Zero
This is the reason you’re reading this.
Oh, F-Zero. If fan demand alone was the deciding factor, F-Zero would be top priority. People want F-Zero, people beg for F-zero, people who have never played, beg for F-Zero. And Nintendo knows this, they’ve acknowledged it. They themselves haven’t forgotten it. Even putting Smash aside, there was an F-Zero minigame in Nintendo Land. There are F-Zero tracks in Mario Kart. They’ve done everything but make a new F-Zero game, but why the hell not?
Well, it’s important to understand that the F-Zero series declined in sales throughout its life. The best-selling game is still the first, and though the following games were fantastic, they sold less and less, and yet, strangely enough, between 2003-2004, Nintendo released THREE F-Zero games. Around the same time, they also released an anime. There are several great articles and videos about what happened to F-Zero, but the best point I’ve seen is that Nintendo tried, in 2003, to really push F-Zero, but it didn’t work. So, with their attempt failed, they let the series sleep, and just never woke it up, even as fan demand increased.
In 2015, Miyamoto commented on the series, and said that, though he heard the demand, he was unsure on what to do with the series, on how to make a new game. Many fans scoffed and said he’d just need to make a modern F-Zero and that’d be great, but I think internal concern runs deeper. Just doing F-Zero failed in 2003, so why would it work now?
That said, I think there is hope. Fan demand is powerful, and more and more we see a new generation of Nintendo developers pushing the company forward. These younger developers are the ones behind new IP like Splatoon and ARMS, and great reinventions of existing ones like Odyssey and BotW. It’s possible that these same younger developers could hear the fan demand, and want to take on the series without the hesitation of their older peers.
It’s been 16 years, but Kid Icarus was gone for 19, wasn’t it?
Stranger things have happened
Chances: I want to believe
Golden Sun
And here’s the other one.
Few Nintendo fans are as vocal and dedicated to their dormant franchise as Golden Sun games. For those who don’t know, Golden Sun was a couple of excellent GBA RPGs released in 2001 and 2002, with a DS sequel in 2010. Such erratic release schedule would make predicting the series’ future difficult at the best of times, but the DS game was seen as a disappointment by many fans and sales were unimpressive. With ten years having passed with no new game, is the series done for? Well, let’s look at it.
In 2012, one of the developers gave an interview in which he straight up said that, if there was fan demand for it, there would “naturally” be a fourth game. We know that developer interview doesn’t immediately guarantee a sequel, but this is also a much more positive statement than Custom Robo and F-Zero’s “We know there’s demand, but we don’t know what to do with it”. This is “If there’s demand, it will happen.” So, is there demand?
You bet your ass there is. And it feels like it is growing. There was a high-profile hoax about a fourth game in 2017 (a similar hoax happened some time before the third game, by the way). The series received notably more content in Smash Ultimate than series of similar standing (quite possibly an acknowledgment of its popularity). And last year, Cory Balrog, director of 2018’s GOTY God of War, tweeted about all the franchises he would trade for a new Golden Sun. Nintendo could hardly have asked for a higher profile endorsement within the industry.
So if fan demand is there, why hasn’t it happened yet? Well, it helps to look at the development history of the series. The first game took eighteen months to develop, considered a long time for a handheld game at the time. And though the eight years between the GBA and DS games may have you believe it took a long time to greenlight a sequel, that’s not the case. Signs point to internal discussion about a sequel to the GBA games as early as 2002, with developers quoted as saying that Nintendo was asking them to make a new one. One of the series producers also said that the series takes a long time to make because of its complexity. After the DS game failed to meet expectations, its understandable that Nintendo may not have been as enthusiastic for a new game as it was before, but it seems like, even if the series is alive and well, the long hiatus would not be uncharacteristic. In that same interview quoted before, the developer even said that a new game would take a long time. In fact, if GS4 had started development shortly after that interview, if it took as long as Dark Dawn, the game would be wrapping up production around now.
Then there’s the developer, Camelot. Aside from Golden Sun, they pretty much only make Mario Tennis and Mario Golf. They release schedule is also super consistent, with a new game every other year, sometimes every year. We already got a Mario Tennis on Switch two years ago so, if not for COVID, their new game would probably have released this year. All things point, then, for the next Camelot game to hit the Switch next year. Smart money would be in Mario Golf, but maybe it is finally Golden Sun.
Finally, I don’t think, as others do, that Xenoblade is the reason GS is not happening. Again, I don’t see evidence to support the idea that Nintendo doesn’t want to publish more than one game in the same genre. Both the GBA and DS had more than a dozen Nintendo-published RPGs, and the Wii and 3DS got RPGs even after Xenoblade released for them. I don’t see why Xenoblade would stop a Switch Golden Sun, especially when they are very different kinds of RPGs. GS is actually closer to Octopath Traveler, whose success was enough to impress SE, why wouldn’t Nintendo want a piece?
Really, I think the biggest obstacle is that Nintendo might want to prioritize the safe investment of Mario sports games over Golden Sun, but the more I research, the more I feel like GS’s chances are higher now than they were at any point in the last ten years.
I feel there’s hope this sun will rise again
Chances: Above average
Kid Icarus
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Kid Icarus was an OK NES game that had a forgotten Game Boy sequel and then nobody cared about it for 19 years until it was unexpectedly revived for the 3DS in 2012. This story is a testament to the fact that, just because its been a long time, it doesn’t mean it will never happen. But in order to know if it will happen again, let’s understand how it happened in the first place.
It’s important to mention that reviving Kid Icarus was not the intent behind KI: Uprising, it was the idea of its director, Masahiro Sakurai. Nintendo had given him a project and Sakurai decided to use an established franchise for it. He briefly considered Star Fox, but decided to use Kid Icarus, for which he probably had a soft spot, considering he had added Pit to Brawl some years earlier. So, there wasn’t an exec at Nintendo who woke up one day and decided to bring Kid Icarus back, they gave the director a project, and, after some deliberation, he decided to use Kid Icarus for it.
That director is currently busy developing Smash Bros DLC, but even after that’s over, he probably won’t revisit Kid Icarus. He has shot down the idea of him working on a sequel or a port. His words were: "For now, my thought is that perhaps we'll see someone else besides me make another Kid Icarus in another 25 years." Yikes. That’s pretty damning. Sure, Nintendo could get someone else to make the game, but if it was only Sakurai that was interested in the series in the first place, what is the hope of that?
Well, that statement is not super accurate. Before Uprising, there was actually a Kid Icarus reboot in development for the Wii. It was cancelled, and thank God for it, as it was an awfully stupid gritty reboot, but it showed that there was interest in the franchise even before Uprising. Naturally, you’d expect interest to be bigger now than before.
The fact that Uprising not only grew the series’ fanbase, but the that there are Kid Icarus characters in Smash Bros, means that the franchise has a permanent place in the interest in Nintendo fans. Smash in particular means that there are 18 million people who know Pit and Palutena and would turn their heads if a new game was announced. Furthermore, Nintendo’s new CEO is interested in bringing 3DS franchises to the Switch after the success of the Switch Lite, especially now that the 3DS is officially dead, so the opening is there for it.
There is definitely demand for a new Kid Icarus game, but it is too sporadic a franchise to be certain, and if it were to happen, Nintendo would have to find someone new to do it. But, in the end, the series is definitely in a better place now than it was 10 years ago.
Chances: Medium
Legendary Starfy
Legendary Starfy was a 2D platformer for the GBA that was apparently really successful, as it received four sequels in the span of five years. Not only that but, like Barbara and Chibi-Robo, Starfy himself was quite popular. He had cameos in Mario & Luigi and Super Princess Peach, music of the series was in Donkey Konga, he is a regular Assist Trophy in Smash and was a costume in Mario Maker. Though the series took until the last game to come to the West, there were plans to bring the first four games too, as well as consideration for expanding the series to the Wii. The series was widely advertised, with animated commercials and tons of merchandise, including plush dolls, CDs, pencils, birthday balloons, casino cards and two manga series. When asked if there were plans for a sixth game, the developer answered “Yes!”, no ifs, not buts, straight-up Yes.
And then… nothing. The series just stopped. And the reason why is: I have no idea. Maybe if the last game bombed spectacularly, but it doesn’t seem to be the case. Sure, Japanese sales declined with each entry, but not by that much. Maybe NA sales weren’t what Nintendo was hoping for, but surely not enough to kill such a steady franchise.
The confusion only grows when we look at its developer, Tose. Now, this is interesting. You’ve probably played a Tose game without knowing. They have worked on over A THOUSAND GAMES, but they never receive credit. They merely assist with development in the shadows. As one exec puts it: "Our policy is not to have a vision. Instead, we follow our customers' visions. Most of the time we refuse to put our name on the games, not even staff names." They are a ghost developer. Even its Wikipedia page admits that the list of games on it is purely speculative. There are probably hundreds more, that we don’t know about.
The only exception is the Starfy series. That series was their vision. So why did they stop? Could they have decided that it was against their vision to make a game of their vision? We can only speculate.
The fact that the series’ end was so unexpected, and its developer so mysterious, means that any speculation about it is a shot in the dark. All I can say is that there’s no particular reason to expect it.
Chances: Not Good
Nintendogs
Here’s a big one. Nintendogs was one of the biggest successes of the casual era, on par with Brain Age and Wii Fit, but unlike those, it remained a multi-million seller during the 3DS/WiiU generation. And though Nintendo may have tried, at first, to distance the Switch from that era, the return of Brain Age and Clubhouse Games indicates that other casual games would follow, and Nintendogs would be a no-brainer.
There is, however, one big problem: the Switch does not have a microphone. While Brain Age on the DS also used the microphone a lot, it was not essential to it. You could easily make Brain Age without it. But not Nintendogs. Issuing voice commands to your virtual pup is integral to the experience. No microphone means no Nintendogs.
But with that said, Nintendo did go to the trouble of making a Switch stylus, seemingly just for Brain Age, so maybe they could make a microphone peripheral. Sure, a microphone would be more complex to make than a stylus, but not inconceivable. They did something like that with the Wii Speak. I’m sure for that nintendogs money, Nintendo would do it.
Worst case scenario, Nintendo releases Nintendogs and forces you to use the NSO app’s voice chat to talk with your dog. You know they’d do it.
There’s also the fact that another developer released a nintendogs clone for the Switch last year, but I don’t think Nintendo gives a shit.
Chances: Good
Nintendo Wars
You may know this series better as “Advance Wars” and you may also know that it is fantastic. In fact, it is one of the highest rated Nintendo franchises on Metacritic, and had a pretty consistent release schedule between 1988 and 2008. All was looking pretty god. But unfortunately the series has been dormant since the last entry on DS. Part of it may be because the series, though originally Japan-only, was never all that popular in Japan. In fact, that last game only saw a limited release as a My Nintendo reward in the region.
There is, however, still demand for the series, both externally and internally. Producers from both Nintendo and developer Intelligent Systems have expressed enthusiastic support for a new entry, although they’ve also expressed some uncertainty on what they’d do with it, similar to the Custom Robo and F-Zero responses.
The developer for the series is Intelligent Systems, who do a ton of stuff and will be discussed multiple times in this post. They used to release multiple games a year, but have slowed down this past game to just one or two games a year, another possible reason why Advance Wars has been deprioritized, especially in comparison with that boogeyman of Advance Wars and Smash Bros fans alike: Fire Emblem. There is real concern that Nintendo might not want to make a new Advance Wars when they could just make the similar but more popular Fire Emblem instead.
That said, IS has already released a Fire Emblem and Paper Mario for Switch, and though we definitely will get at least one more FE during the Switch’s life cycle, there’s enough years left for IS to release some other games, whether they be AW or one of the three other franchises we’ll discuss in the future. Problem is, of those franchises, AW might be the most difficult to produce, and the most risky, so it could probably be lower priority. When asked about the series last year, one IS producer gave a pretty evasive answer, so things aren’t looking too good, but they aren’t hopeless either.
Chances: Medium
Ouendan/Elite Beat Agents
This rhythm series for the DS is widely beloved by those who played it, but its life cycle was pretty limited. One game in 2005, and Americanized version in 2006, and one sequel in 2007. Nothing more since The games were critically acclaimed, but not blockbuster hits.
The series creator said back in 2016 that he would love to create a new game, but nothing else has been said about it. The game’s developer iNis, doesn’t appear to be super active either.
All in all, there is very little pointing to a return
Chances: Bad
Pilotwings
The biggest obstacle to seeing this series of arcadey flight sims on the Switch is that the series has a very specific purpose: it’s a tech demo. All three games were launch titles for their systems and explicitly meant to show off each system’s new tech. The original game was made to show off the SNES’ Mode 7, the N64 game was meant to show off the console’s polygonal graphics, and Resort was meant to showcase the 3DS’ stereoscopic 3D. With the Switch’s release far behind us, and its graphics not really needing a showcase, Pilotwings chances seem low. Granted, Pilotwings doesn’t need to be a tech demo, but it could be how Nintendo views it as.
There is some fan demand for it, but not as much as F-Zero or Golden Sun, and no developer has commented on the possibility of a return. Pilotwings has always been moderately successful, but not enough to justify constant releases. The only glimmer of hope is the comment from Nintendo’s CEO about wanting to bring more 3DS franchises for the Switch, but it’s quite possible that he didn’t have Pilotwings in mind when he said that
Chances: Bad
Punch-Out!!
Another series popular enough to get a Smash character but not popular enough for consistent sequels, Punch-Out is a beloved classic with a consistent fanbase, but with a very erratic release schedule. After the SNES game in 1994, the series lay dormant for 15 years until it was revived for the Wii in 2009 and then laid to rest again. One explanation is that the series was never really popular in Japan. Neither the NES or SNES games were even available as full releases in the country, being instead, distributed as prizes or rewards. And though the Wii game got a full retail release, it sold very poorly. It’s always been a game more for Americans, so it is understandable that the Japanese developers at Nintendo aren’t super enthusiastic about it. That said, it was Nintendo who pitched the reboot in the first place, so they may want to do it again someday.
The developer for the Wii game was Next Level Games, who release a game every three or two years, and they also develop Mario Strikers and Luigi’s Mansion. Having already released LM3, it’s likely they’ll release another game for the Switch some time soon. That could be Punch-Out, but it is just as likely that it could be Mario Strikers, or something else entirely.
Some think that the series use of flagrant national stereotypes would impede it from coming back in today’s political climate, but frankly, I don’t think that’s as definitive a problem. Worst case scenario, they simply make a new cast, just like Super Punch Out, but less racially insensitive.
Another interesting development is that Mike Tyson has been talking about wanting a new Punch-Out this year. I don’t think Nintendo cares what he says, and they definitely don’t want to associate with him again, but it is a pretty high-profile person talking about the series, which is bound to raise interest. Whether that’s enough for Nintendo to consider a new game? I don’t think so. But regardless, Punch-Out is popular enough that the door is never truly closed for it.
Chances: Not Good
Pushmo
This acclaimed puzzle game was released for the 3DS eshop in 2012 and was successful enough to get three sequels. Although it hasn’t been seen since 2015, there doesn’t seem to be anything impeding its return. The developer is our good friend Intelligent Systems, and, of the aforementioned IS franchises still to launch on the Switch, Pushmo, being a simple, but beloved, puzzle game, seems like the safest investment. It likely could be developed alongside another major game.
There is demand for it, and considering Nintendo’s eshop efforts, Pushmo would fit in perfectly alongside Snipperclips and fellow 3DS eshop puzzle star Boxboy. All in all, there’s no reason not to expect Pushmo to come back.
Chances: Good
continued in comments

I was eighteen when I met Reyna. I'd been at a local bar called Jerry's by myself since my friends had left me hanging. I was using a fake ID, not that I really needed it unless there were cops around. The bartender was the kind of guy who would let you have the booze if you could pay. He did have some rules, though. If you were under sixteen you'd get booted out of the bar real quick and he'd call your parents, and you weren't allowed to cause any problems with the other patrons or the same thing would happen.
I was always a usual since it was the laxest place in town, but I had bar-hopped before. Most of the places just didn't click with me. I needed a good vibe in order to drink. This was a night where not a lot of people were around, but those that were there were the usual old drunks. All aside from one.
I noticed her before she noticed me, and she was absolutely beautiful. Her scarlet hair practically glowed under the dim bar lights, and she was wearing a really expensive-looking dress. There was a small purse with a thin strap over her shoulder and I recognized the Louis Vuitton logo on it. I was curious about her, since the town I was living in was pretty small and not very rich. I guessed she must've been from out of town or something. She looked like she might've been nineteen or twenty, but the way she sat made her look older and more mature.
I didn't realize I'd been staring at her until she looked at me point blank with an eyebrow raised and a curious smile across her face. In the next moment she slipped off of her stool and started walking towards me. Okay, don't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Stay cool, I thought nervously. My palms were sweating and I felt a lump develop in my throat. She took the seat beside me and ordered two shots. The bartender placed the shots in front of her, and she pushed one over to me. I just stared at it for a moment before looking at her. She raised her eyebrow again, "Are you going to drink it or just stare at it all night?"
I wasn't really a vodka person, but the fact that this beautiful girl had just bought me a drink rather than it being vice-versa made me feel a sense of obligation. I downed the drink and it left a burning sensation in the back of my throat. The girl smiled and downed her own shot, but it didn't look as though it had fazed her. "So... You aren't much of a vodka person, huh?"
I was slightly shocked by her statement, but I guessed I must've made a face or something. Her voice had been soft like velvet. I nodded, "Yeah, I usually like whiskey or beer or sometimes gin."
She shrugged, but the motion coming from her looked so graceful, "I understand. I don't much care for this brand, either."
I tried to think of something smooth to say but all that came out was, "Do you come here often?"
She laughed, but her smile quickly fell, "Really? That's your opening line? And here I was expecting something a little more interesting from you."
I shook my head, "No, no, no... I was really curious. I haven't seen you in this bar before, and I'm one of the usual customers."
Her smile returned and she nodded, "Well, then my answer is no. I've only been to this place a handful of times and you've never been here when I am. Perhaps fate has brought us together this evening. I'm Reyna."
I smiled, "I'm Todd..." I sighed, "Maybe you're right. I was considering going over to Mary's but changed my mind last minute."
She nodded, "I can understand why. You seem to be quite at ease here... but not completely."
I frowned, "What do you mean?"
She opened her purse and drew a cigarette and lighter, offering one to me, but I declined. She shrugged and lit her cigarette before continuing, "Your demeanor is calm but until I came over you were sitting very stiffly. You're worried about the cops coming in here and catching you, even if you don't realize it yourself. You'd have no cause for any concern if we were at the Crimson Cabaret."
"The Crimson what now?" I asked.
She shook her head, "Just my favorite bar. It's not too far from here and it's a bit of a tourist destination, but I enjoy it. See, police don't typically show up at that bar, but even when they do... Sixteen, eighteen, twenty, it doesn't matter. They don't care. You could even walk in being thirteen years old and you'd get away with drinking. Hell, they'd probably buy a round for you."
I was skeptical with the way she was hyping up this bar. Sure, everyone had their favorite place to hang and drink, and you always wanted to believe your place was better than anyone else's. Still, the fact that I'd never heard of the place being the bar-hopper I was made me feel like this was sort of sketch. "Right... So why bother bringing up this place?"
Reyna smiled and shrugged, "Being such an avid bar-hopper, I'd figure you'd like a place where you can be most at ease. I used to be a lot like you until I found the Cabaret. It's a really nice place, but it's also very expensive unless you go in with a member." She placed her hand on my shoulder, "I could show you."
I felt a shiver run up my spine from the warmth of her hand and smiled, "Ah... Um, no, I don't think so. I... I need to go home and get some sleep. You see, I have work in the morning and--"
Reyna removed her hand from my shoulder and shook her head, "It's alright. I shouldn't have been so forward with you." She frowned, "You remind me a lot of myself, honestly. I... I used to drink because of my boyfriend. You're drinking because of Cecilia, aren't you?"
My heart sank at this comment. Not because she knew my girlfriend by name, but... Because she was right. Cecilia and I had been dating since Freshman year of high school and at first things had been really great, but... Eventually they weren't? I don't know why it happened or how, but it happened. And she started cheating on me. I didn't break up with her, though. Once again I don't know why. I guess it was just because we'd been together for such a long time and I couldn't imagine my life without her.
No... No, that wasn't it. It was because of convenience. I was there to fulfill her needs whenever she wasn't out with other guys and she did the same for me. It wasn't healthy and it certainly wasn't because we cared about each other. We just were with one another. I never cheated on her because I was just a faithful guy. I wasn't above innocently flirting with girls now and again at parties or bars, but that was as far as I took it.
I sighed and nodded, "Yeah. We, uh, we don't exactly see eye to eye with each other anymore. But at least it's a relationship."
Reyna shook her head, "No, Todd, it's not a relationship. Call it a dependency, a multiple-night stand, but it's not a relationship. Not really." She put her hand back on my shoulder, but this time I wasn't so stiff at the motion. "You shouldn't have to live like this." She smiled, "Come to the Cabaret with me. Just as friends. We'll have some drinks and talk for awhile. You'll have so much fun you won't want to leave. What do you say?"
Something about Reyna talking to me in that understanding sweet tone... It made me feel like I could trust her with anything. That going and getting some drinks at this bar of hers didn't sound like a bad idea. I smiled and nodded, "Alright. Let's go."
I don't know why I decided to go with Reyna in her car. I guess... it was because I thought I'd had too much to drink? I don't know, but Reyna had a really nice car and it was pretty cool to be riding in it. We arrived at the bar which was quite a few miles outside of town through a thick blanket of fog, but the place looked really nice on the outside, so I figured the inside would be no different.
Reyna handed off her keys to a valet and we walked up to the doors where a bouncer was waiting. Reyna pulled a strange card out of her purse that had two holographic filigree Cs on it. The bouncer glanced between the two of us for a moment before nodding and opening the doors. And from the moment we stepped inside...
I was in love.
The entire place was decorated in rich reds and golds, and it looked like some sort of lavish casino rather than a bar. It was two stories high and, yeah, there were slot machines and card tables galore. On a big stage were girls dancing on both the stage floor and a trapeze hung from the ceiling in glittery costumes. The place was full of people and bustling workers carrying various cocktails in some crazy colors. I looked at Reyna, who smiled at me, "What? It's a bar first and a casino second. Or do you not like gambling?"
"No, I--"
"Then shush and let's go," she said with a coy smile.
She gently pulled me to the very long bar and we sat down at two of the padded stools. The bar was a transparent fish tank, and it had some pretty cool exotic fish in it. The bartender wasn't like Jerry in looks, being much more cheerful and smiley rather than tired and grumpy. "What can I get you?" he asked. I was about to say something, but Reyna spoke first, "Two galaxy lotuses, Benny." The guy nodded and started expertly mixing alcohols and came back with two tall glasses of alcohol that literally glowed and looked like he'd taken the stars and put them into a glass.
Reyna sipped at her drink and gestured for me to do the same. I picked up my drink and sipped it. It was smooth and warm. Nice to taste, too. Sort of oaky and fruity all at the same time. "It's good, isn't it?" Reyna commented. I nodded and she smiled, "Thought so. It's one of my favorite drinks to order here. After you finish do you want to do some gambling? I play a pretty good poker hand now and again."
I shrugged, "Sure, I guess so."
We finished up our drinks and she took me to a poker table that was about to deal a new hand. At this point I was buzzed and starting to drift into being drunk. I'm not typically the type of guy to go and get drunk drunk a lot of the time. When I'm buzzed, I tap out. I know it's not smart to do but I do have to drive home because I can't afford to call Ubers if I'm bar-hopping all night. It'd be more trouble than it's worth, I guess. When Reyna bought even more drinks I withheld a groan. There was no way I'd be able to drive home once Reyna dropped me off to pick up my car. I'd have to sleep in my back seat until tomorrow morning.
"Hey," Reyna muttered, placing her hand on my shoulder, "what's wrong?" I frowned, slightly confused and muttered, "Huh?" She frowned, "Your forehead is all scrunched up like you're thinking." She smiled and lightly pushed my chest, "Relax a little, Todd. I'm not going to leave you in that parking lot at Jerry's."
I don't know if I felt scared or relieved that Reyna seemed to be able to read my thoughts yet again. I guess she was just so pretty and I was getting drunker and stupider so I decided not to be weirded out. Reyna ordered more drinks and I finished mine yet again. Now, I know I said I was only a drink till' I'm buzzed kind of person, and that's true, but once or twice I'd gotten drunk drunk. When that happened I'd get really tired and typically let one of my friends take me to their houses and I'd crash on their couches. But right now... I didn't have anywhere to sleep.
"If you're tired we can go into one of the member's rooms upstairs. I don't mind you sleeping on my bed," Reyna said with a smile.
I don't know why, but I just nodded and allowed her to lead me upstairs. I was leaning on her for support and she opened one of the doors to one of the rooms. She walked and I stumbled inside. She closed the door with her foot and sat me down on the bed. I immediately fell over and wanted to go to sleep, but in the next moment Reyna sat down in front of me and started taking her heels off. I sat up and through my drunken haze noticed the blisters on her ankles and how she was wincing and rubbing them. "Are you okay?" I asked concernedly. She glanced back at me and smiled reassuringly, "Um, yeah. I'm alright. These shoes are new, so I haven't exactly broken them in yet."
I don't know why I did what I did next, but I pulled Reyna into a hug with her back pressed against my chest, resting my hands on her stomach. "You don't have to put on an act with me, Reyna," I muttered into her hair. "You've been so understanding and sweet all night. I think you can tell me whatever's wrong with you."
Reyna smiled and placed her hands on top of mine, "Todd... I hope you know I don't just bring any man back to the Cabaret with me or let them into my room. I like you. You're thoughtful." She turned around in my arms and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me.
Since Cecilia and I had started dating I'd never even thought of any other girls. Even after she started openly cheating on me I refused to do the same. I hadn't put my hands on another girl in a long time... But Reyna... She was so beautiful and understanding... So gentle and sweet... Everything Cecilia wasn't. I kissed her back, and then we just laid there, holding one another. It was nice. "Todd..." Reyna muttered cautiously. I kissed her forehead, "Yeah?" She smiled slightly, "Would you do anything for me?"
I found the question curious, but nodded and squeezed her hand in reassurance, "Yeah. Yeah, I would."
She nodded, "I know you would. I just wanted to ask."
I don't know when or how I fell asleep, but when I woke up I found Reyna's side of the bed empty. I muttered a cuss under my breath and rushed out the door to her room. I caught sight of her crimson hair heading towards the exit and just managed to make it through the throng of people to catch her. She smiled as she looked back at me. Then I noticed... She looked different. She was still beautiful, but... Less so than last night. It made me wonder if my being under the influence had made her appear more gorgeous. She was also wearing some cheap street clothes which shocked me all the more. "Hello, Todd," she said. "Sleep well?"
"Where are you going?" I asked, confused and pretty hurt.
She smiled and gestured for me to come outside with her. I only noticed it was still night when we got out the doors. How long had I been asleep? It had been long enough to sleep off my alcohol, clearly, but... How was it still nighttime? Reyna and I sat on one of the benches outside and she lit a cigarette, taking a puff before finally speaking.
"You know I said I used to bar-hop like you?" she asked. I nodded, and she continued, "That was true. Then one night... One night I met a guy at one of my local hops who was dressed so nicely and was the polar opposite of my boyfriend who I was still with. His name was Rodger. We got to talking and he just seemed to get me and what I was going through. He mentioned the Crimson Cabaret as the best bar to visit and I let him take me to it in his car. I reacted the same way as you. I drank and drank way beyond my tolerance level and he offered to let me sleep in his room. Just like I offered to you. We got in there and I started crying about my boyfriend and then Rodger started kissing me. I wanted him to kiss me. He asked me if I'd do anything for him. I said yes.
"I woke up with his side of the bed being empty and just knew I needed to hurry. I found him about to leave just like you did me. He sat me down at this bench here and explained everything to me."
"Everything about what?" I asked, my mind starting to race with fear.
"The Cabaret." Reyna's voice was wistful and hollow, "How it works. What it does to you. I said you'd love it so much you'd never want to leave, but... You can't leave. Not anymore. At first it's great to be a member. All the free booze you can drink without the threat of a hangover, nice expensive clothing brands, a big room with all the food and entertainment you could ever want, and God if you don't wake up every single morning looking like your best self!"
She sighed, "But eventually it gets mundane. You don't age. It's always nighttime. The acts on stage get repetitive until you can predict what's going to happen that night. The bartenders come off less as cheerful and kind and more so robotic and creepy. You come to hate it."
I frowned and shook my head, "Why can't you leave? What is this place?"
Reyna extinguished her cigarette and shook her head, "See, the thing about the Cabaret is that you have to be a member to leave, but even then you can't leave forever. You have to bring back customers. People who will be easy to manipulate into forgetting themselves and just drinking and gambling forever and ever. The only way you can ever really escape is if you find someone to replace you. A new member. A new bar-hopper to give a home.
"Sometimes it's easy to find someone to replace you, but you can't pick just anyone. You'll know who can help you escape because it'll be obvious. You'll be able to see into their lives and know they want an escape. An escape... I've been looking for years to find someone who can help me. It's been about sixty, maybe seventy years. I looked and looked and looked for someone who could get me out, but I never managed to. Until I met you. I could see into your life and how much you hated it. How much you hated your girlfriend. How much you wanted anything different. And I knew. You were my salvation."
I was shocked as Reyna rose to her feet, pulling something out of her pocket. It was her car keys and her member card from the Cabaret. She handed both of them to me and smiled, "I really do like you, Todd, and I hope you'll find your way out soon." She handed me one more thing. A scrap of paper with a phone number. "Keep track of the time, and call me if you get out within the next ten years."
And then she took off, walking out of the parking lot and down the road. I watched as she began to disappear into the fog, her crimson hair being the last thing I saw.
It's been about thirty years. I still have access to the outside world via my phone, a computer in my room, and a TV that shows all the channels. It's been about thirty years now. I have since received only one text from Reyna. A picture of her in a wedding dress looking rather sad with the words, I waited, but I'm done waiting now, in the message. I don't blame her for moving on. And now as I type this on Reddit I hope that maybe it'll reach my replacement. But if you're not... Still... Come to the Crimson Cabaret.
You'll never want to leave.

Hi!
So, I had an idea to have a constantly - relocating wizard mansion. It will pop up in random places; sometimes in vacant spots in cities, sometimes in the wilderness somewhere. PCs could hear excited whispers from travelers on the road and merchants in cities (did you hear the Wizard's Mansion popped up around X? I wonder what they have this time).
The mansion is full of rooms, and is much bigger on the inside than the outside. Upon entering the main door, the PCs end up in a large circular landing with 3 long (seemingly infinite) hallways branching off of it with doors on either sides.
Each of these rooms lead to completely random things. They can be shops with weird items, pointless rooms, rooms that lock you in unless you answer a question or solve a riddle, etc.

Shop with a haggard-looking wizard. Boasts 2d12 uncommon items, 1d12 rare items, and 1d4 legendary items.
Empty room, save for a single wooden chair in the middle. If the PC sits in the chair, it rapidly tips over and fires the PC directly out of the room
A bustling tavern; anyone who enters is challenged to a drinking contest. Winners get 4d100gp and a small poorly-made paper crown
a "casino" - PCs enter a room that has lots of gambling activities going on (include any DnD/RPG gambling games you'd like)
Room is wonderfully adorned, but an old haggard woman lies on a bed in the center. Woman becomes enamored with PC, and refuses to let him/her leave until he/she tricks the woman into letting them leave (ex: I'll be back in just a moment my love, just going to slip into something more comfortable) - fun RP opportunity
The room smells strangely good, inside there is a friendly copper dragon. If you decide to talk to him, the conversation will seem to go on forever. Every time it starts to get boring he will say/ask/point out something interesting that will keep it going. You can leave anytime but you won't want to. CAPShidra
Room full of piles of unorganized gold coins. Coins disappear if they leave the room. MakingReady
A museum of historically accurate uniforms of armies long past. MakingReady
A cage with an umber hulk inside it. MakingReady
A shrine to a god of secrets, all the candles burned down to stubs. MakingReady
A hall of mirrors. MakingReady
A kitchen where ghosts are constantly cooking delicious cakes. MakingReady
A library, but every book is about astrology and vague prophecies. MakingReady
A room with the singular purpose of being a perfect mansion for a penguin. Complete with ice slide, ice floor, fishing place, a warming spot, ventilation, and ways to entertain himself. The penguin can be smart or a pet. TheWoodcarveree
a room with an open empty box on the floor next to a fallen pedastal. A sign reads "do NOT open" GregMcGregFace
menagerie of strange and likely dangerous animals. GregMcGregFace
a small library room. Interacting with anything will activate a swarm of books (construct) to attack GregMcGregFace
two familiars given conflicting tasks (organise by title Vs organise by author) they've been here for a long time GregMcGregFace
a guardian holding a giant book of riddles. He will not let you leave unless YOU tell HIM a riddle that he cannot answer. If successful he jots it into his book GregMcGregFace
a chest in the center of the room, a sign beside it reads "Warning: this is a MIMIC!" ( The sign is the mimic) GregMcGregFace
the door reads "under construction", leads to an endless black abyss GregMcGregFace
a tiny devil in a bottle, willing to promise anything to be let out, but he has no special skills GregMcGregFace
A mirror in the center of the room. The mirror version of only one party member acts strangely, insisting that they were put in the mirror two days ago "by that imposter!" GregMcGregFace
a room containing a small diorama of itself, including any party members that enter, and an even smaller diorama inside the first GregMcGregFace
A room with beautiful stained-glass windows showing different scene. Read in order, they tell a joke or short story. Samlefomas
The wizard's wardrobe. Some of it is formal wear, some is outrageous party costumes. Hidden in a dirty box under some shoes is a Robe of the Archmagi, but good luck finding it. Samlefomas
A room with a door that enters on one side, and a door opposite that only leads back in to the same room (like portals from the games). To leave the room you must exit backwards via the door you came in. Samlefomas
The zero-g room. Pressing a button on the wall activates two runes of reverse gravity, one on the floor and one on the ceiling, meaning you 'float' in the middle for a minute. Samlefomas
A lavish, traditional living room, like you'd find in a castle. The difference is that everything is a poor knock-off. The paintings are finger paintings, the tables are made of balsa wood, if you light the fire place the rest of the room may go up in flames, etc. Samlefomas
The Necromancer’s Theater: an operatic theater where undead will perform theatrical routines, dances, and songs when possible. Shmegdar
A normal bedroom except everything in it is on the ceiling instead of the floor Shmegdar
a very large room full of magically moving mechanical contraptions, such as animated minecarts, a wheel with seats, and horselike statues that revolve around an axis of mirrors (an amusement park) Shmegdar
A kitchen except everything (and I mean everything) in it has a humanoid face on it, living or not. Mostly nothing in the room is alive or sentient, but I wouldn’t rule out the possibility Shmegdar
A room that leads to the outside of the wizards mansion, but this was not the exit or the entrance killllllllllmeeeeee
A room where a gaint war table sits in the middle made of nothing but flowing ale and ludicrous battles killllllllllmeeeeee
A room that leads to large tapestries and monoliths, that depict strange ships in the sky, a picture of some kind of 4-ringed circle in the middle that all connect to a central point. With millions... no billions of tiny dots, with borders of counties that don't exist and technology that hasn't been thought of... battles in the void of space and planets with undeciferable names. It's so ludicrous that it shouldn't be possible...Surely. killllllllllmeeeeee
A portal that leads to the middle of a desert, for no particular reason. killllllllllmeeeeee
A room with a room in it, and so on killllllllllmeeeeee
A staircase that always goes up and always goes down, never ends. killllllllllmeeeeee

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